Dark Humor

Client writes in:  Oddly, this morning my computer monitor was very dark when “on.” I pulled my shades down to help with glare; a little better but still dark. It is still darker than normal.   The responses my brain wants to send: Don’t worry, it’s not broken. It just lost the will to live….

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Not Skeered at All

Told the nurse giving me a shot at the doctor’s office, “I used to be deathly afraid of needles, now I’m only moderately terrified.” I suppose it would have been funnier if I didn’t have my eyes clamped shut and my head turned the other way.

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Worried

When I was a 12 back in the 1980s my biggest worry was about dying in a nuclear war. Now that I’m past 50 and diabetic my biggest worry is a Snickers bar.

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Lettered

My daughter received a letter for running Cross Country at her high school. It’s a D. I told her “if you’d tried harder you could have gotten an A”.

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I Want The Best

I need a new spouse. My wife doesn’t believe in putting the ketchup in the refrigerator even though it says right on the package, “For best results refrigerate after opening.” If I’m going to pay $5 for a bottle of ketchup then it better be the best damn ketchup I’ve ever had.

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Don’t Call It Milk Call It…

This is awesome. “The question was raised on FOX affiliate WNYW’s news program: If you can’t call stuff like soy milk, rice milk, almond milk and so on “milk”, what should you call it? Anchor Greg Kelly didn’t think that “soy juice” sounded right, so his co-anchor Rosanna Scotto came up with a better suggestion:”…

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World of World of Warcraft

Here’s something damn funny from The Onion, “World of World of Warcraft”. You have to ability to play a player playing the World of Warcraft. ‘Warcraft’ Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing ‘Warcraft’

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