Turns Out Everyone HAS Looked at Porn

This is hilarious. Researchers looking to do a study on the consumption of porn have a problem, they can’t find anyone who hasn’t looked at porn to use as their control group.

“We started our research seeking men in their twenties who had never consumed pornography. We couldn’t find any,” says Simon Louis Lajeunesse, a postdoctoral student and professor at the School of Social Work.

“The objective of my work is to observe the impact of pornography on the sexuality of men, and how it shapes their perception of men and women,” says Lajeunesse. To do so, he has so far recruited and interviewed 20 heterosexual male university students who consume pornography.

The research concluded that 90 percent of pornography is consumed on the Internet, while 10 percent comes from video stores. On average, single men watch pornography three times a week for 40 minutes. Those who are in committed relationships watch it on average 1.7 times a week for 20 minutes.

Hey you didn’t really expect people to learn about sex from their PARENTS did you?

“Mom? Dad? Are you home? Oh my God, Mom! Why are you wearing a rubber suit with those boots and holding a whip?! And why does Dad have a mask with a zipper for a mouth!

You can check out the press release if you want but it’s not half as interesting as the mental image you just got. Now get your mind out of the gutter and go back to work!