My email hates Rolex watches.

It also hates viagra,

And nexium,

And most other prescription drugs.

It doesn’t like that you send me links

to kinky sex sites,

or that you try to talk dirty,

with your HTML.

My email hates you,

because you send me more than one,

or because you try to make it think it sent the message,

when it knows it has sent none.

It doesn’t like the things you send,

even though the say “I love you”.

It doesn’t like it when it knows,

you just want to take over,

and use it to send your love around.

My email hates you,

you know why,

I’m not ashamed to say,

So do I.