This is classic. Yes, This actually happened. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Person A: how can i fix the volume on my computer
Person A: ive tried everything
Me: bottom right hand corner there’s a little speaker icon. did you turn up the sound there?
Person A : its all the way up, no sound?
Person A: :S
Me: speakers are plugged in? light is on?
Person A: ohh… i dont think i have speakers
Me: you’re kidding right?
Person A: uhh i dont think so. i dont see any!
Me: there’s your problem