A Letter To A Loser Roomate

OMG. Here’s another great one to read. This one has explicit language so if you’re easily offended you might want to pass. Otherwise it’s funny as hell.

Craigslist: Dear Roommate,

You went out tonight and had yet another dismal failure. The best thing that can be said about this date is that at least it was mercifully short, so thankfully she didn’t have to put up with you for too long.

It’s not that you’re a bad dude. You’re funny, smart, caring, and (to my male heterosexual eye) not that bad looking of a dude. The problem, roommate, is that you’re just a fucking idiot when it comes to dating.

I’ve had to watch this sad charade for over a year now, and I’ve had to listen to your sob stories, this constant recounting of how you can’t find a nice girl to get into a relationship with. I understand; dating is hard. I’m no magician myself and don’t claim to be the all-knowing expert of wooing the opposite sex. I’ve tried to help you, but you won’t listen. Now I’m on Craigslist because I just can’t stand it anymore.

Roommate, please pull your head out of your ass. Here are ways you constantly fuck up. Fix these, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll meet that nice girl you’re looking for.