I’m coining a new word: “grossitude”.
Think of it as a measurement of the grossness of something. The scale is very similar to the Richter Scale and the “Hot Chick” scale.
1 – Sitting in ABC gum.
2 – Stepping on a snail.
3 – Catching your parents having sex.
4 – Finding cat poop on the bottom of your shoe.
5 – Catching your parents having sex and someone is tied to the bed.
6 – A dead, bloated corpse.
7 – Hershey squirts before you could make it to the bathroom.
8 – Someone else’s hershey squirts.
9 – Catching your parents having sex and your mom is wearing a strap on.
10 – Two week old chicken and dumplings that have been sitting out on the counter and have begun to grow fungus and give off a disgusting funk that, when opened, sets off the Hazmat detectors put up by Homeland Security.
I would have opted for any of the others but having to clean up number 10…*barf*.