Davezilla for President

Is it too late to add a candidate? Everyone write in Davezilla!!

C’mon! Repeat after me! Davezilla for President! Davezilla! Davezilla! Davezilla! Do the wave everyone!

If I am elected President…: “

  1. There will not only be yards of beer, there will be yards of coffee.
  2. Daylight Saving Time will happen every season. I haven’t worked out the math yet, but we will gain an hour’s sleep every season.
  3. Let us learn from our southern neighbors in Mexico. Mandatory siestas at work.
  4. People who make quote marks with their fingers in the air while talking will be sent to a federal penitantiary.
  5. Donald Trump will be fired.
  6. Carrot Top will die for our sins.
  7. Hummer owners will be forced to drive AMC Pacers.
  8. Eating carbs would once again be something we are proud to do.
  9. Using the ghetto term, conversatin’ will be grounds for 200 hours of community service.
  10. I won’t tax the rich higher. I won’t tax the poor or middle class either. I will tax people with no sense of humor.

(Via Davezilla.com.)