Things I’d Like to see on tombstones

“How about that? We really ARE 6lbs of chemicals.”
“No deposit. No return.”
“Worms. $1.29 a box.”
“He died like he lived, on the toilet with a magazine.”
“85 years and still didn’t use Viagra.”
“Old geezers do it longer.”
“Watch where you’re f%^ing walking!”
“If you can read this you’re following too close.”
“I knew I shouldn’t have fallen asleep in that casket factory.”
“Start digging! I’m trapped in here!”